Visit the Shaks

My girls CityMama and Sassafrass have come up with something so huge I can hardly put it into words. Eh, I'm having a hard time putting anything into words tonight anyway. First, go over to either the CityMama link or the Sassafrass link and see what Project: Life Change is all about. Then, come back and I'll tell ya some stuff about me.

The past month has been one of the hardest of my life. On August 31st, my grandma, who was more like a mother to me- she lived with us for 8 years- passed away very unexpectedly. I took some time off for that, but came back to work, even though I was very depressed and distraught. I think my blogging has been "off" because of it.

So, my husband gave me a vacation to the beach, alone. And I worked through that. Shortly before I left on vacation, he went to the doctor and they found a 21mm kidney stone as the reason he has been so tired and sickly lately. We scheduled surgery for this past Friday.

While I was on  vacation, I called my mom and she told me my uncle's cancer has apparently spread to his lymph nodes and the outlook does not look good. My dad's kidney disease is rolling quickly into the end stage. It's not a good time to be related to me, kids, people are dropping off left and right. 

When I got back from the vacation, I got sick, but I worked through that as well. I did miss a day and promised that I would blog this weekend to make up for it. I promised I would blog Friday and I didn't have time- my husband didn't even get out of surgery until after 6 PM. So here I sit, at 10:16PM on a Saturday night, writing this. I have two more posts that I have to write before I go to bed. I have to be up at 6 AM to get back to the hospital to see my husband before church.

Something needs to give, kids. I don't know what or how, I just know I cannot keep up this pace. One thing I know I need to get better at is being able to ask people for help. I have a lot of good friends who probably are perfectly willing to help me, but I can't jump off my pride and ask for help.

My other problem is promising things I can't realistically deliver. I knew, deep down, that I wouldn't be able to blog on Friday, but I said I could. I probably should have asked for Friday off and asked if I could post more *another* weekend. I really don't know why I didn't, other than the fact that a. I am a workaholic and b. I have this bizarre work ethic.

I can't change all the family drama, but I can change my reactions to that drama. That's what I am going to work on right now. There may be other, more dramatic changes coming, and I will blog about them. But for now, I am going to work on asking for help and not promising more than I can deliver. Baby steps for me, kids, baby steps.

Please join me in welcoming Olivia Jenae, daughter of Janice over at 5 Minutes For Mom. In case you didn't hear, Janice delivered a baby girl early this morning and mom and darling daughter are doing just fine as is big brother, Jackson.

Janice's sister, Susan, is due any day with her second daughter too. What a big happy family they have over there. They should be posting pictures later today so go on over and congratulate them and praise God for a happy, healthy, baby girl to one of our wonderful blogging sisters!

I will warn you that after reading this story you will have a sick feeling in your stomach. I tend to write about more positive things but I had to bring this story to you for the shock factor alone. Could You Forget Your Child? written at My Thoughts, Ideas And Ramblings felt the need to write about it also....

 I came across this story yesterday where a couple in Beaver County, PA, got their dogs out of their burning mobile home.  However, Crystal Adams and James Chandler forgot his 4 year old son.  After being asked repeatedly if anyone else was in the mobile home, they remembered after twenty minutes that the boy was in his room.  A firefighter thankfully went in and saved the boy.  He ended up getting treated for smoke inhalation.  Crystal and James were charged with reckless endangerment.

Now you tell me, the pets first or the children? Not only did they save the dogs first, but it took them twenty minutes to remember their child was in the home.

I love my animals very much and treat them as if they were my children. I would also desperately try to save them from a burning home. I may even forget about one of them if I was in a panic and that would be because I was trying to rescue my child.

Do you all see what I mean? I'm sick to my stomach just writing about it!

It does seem to me that kids are getting worse and worse as time goes on. There have been driveby shootings in my very suburban neighborhood, and crime seems to touch every level of people in America.

Moosh in Indy had a run-in with a local kid:

Your kid was breaking into our car a couple of nights ago and my husband (we’ll call him Captain Awesome for the time being) drove up as your son was IN. OUR. CAR. (For those of you who are regular readers here this is a different break in than this one. I know, such a classy life I lead.)

Fortunately, there was a good outcome. Go on over to read the rest of the story, including a very funny picture. By the way, Moosh, my kid has a pair of shoes just like that, but I'm pretty sure he didn't have time to drive to Indianapolis and back. Even so, I'll check to make sure his shoes are still here. ;)

[Photo shamelessly ripped off from Moosh In Indy]

Is it a good for teens to have a GPS system on their cell phones? That is the question that I am sure will have many different opinions. The post over at Supernanny Rules called Should Your Teen's Cell Phone Have GPS is asking the same question.....

"You ask them to call to let you know where they are, and they do. From their cell phone. In a perfect world with perfect teens, they’re telling the absolute truth when reporting their whereabouts, but, it’s not a perfect world, is it? Hence “call me back from a land line”. This provides Caller ID information that (hopefully) matches the location the little darling gave you. And with so many kids being savvy to technology and knowing how to get around the caller I.D. rule, consider GPS tracking on the phone."

If you would have asked me this question years ago, I would have said NO WAY. My opinion has changed since I am now raising a teen. Now, let's remember he is the firstborn and as mom's we tend to be extra cautious the first time around with everything. I can admit that in my case but I do think it is a good idea.

I am sure that all of the parents of abducted children, wished their child had a GPS system on them at the time. Like I always say, communication is the key to raising happy healthy kids and teens. As long as they know that it isn't about you not trusting them but for their protection, it's all good.

It all started with a woman everyone calls Buck. Well, it started before that, but that's the farthest back we can trace it. Buck went to work sick. Several of her co-workers caught it and it finally floated on up to the office of my best friend.

I traveled from Nashville to North Carolina to see her, she came down with it, and I brought everyone in Tennessee back a nasty little present. Buck's doctor called it bronchitis, my best friend's doctor called it an ear infection, and my doctor says it's a sinus infection.

No matter what it is, it might have all been prevented if Buck had just stayed home from work when she was sick. One of the things I will never understand about retail and the restaurant industry is the fact that there are no sick days for employees. Managers generally get sick days, but due to the tight scheduling of managers, the only time they really use those sick days are when they can be scheduled, like a surgery.

And the non-managers, sure, they can miss work, but they don't get paid if they don't work, so many of them come into work sick. Then we, the public go to these places and are exposed to these illnesses. It's a vicious cycle, especially in the winter and late summer.

I really believe if retail and restaurant employers would give their employees just a few sick days a year, they would prevent a lot of illnesses. And seriously, people, if you're sick, STAY HOME. The rest of us would like to stay healthy.

One of the first things we decided on as a couple, after naming all of our future children on our fourth or fifth date, was that we would never have a gaming system of any kind in our home.

We've seen them suck in too many people and didn't think it would benefit our children in any way, shape, or form. Having a computer is a different story. They will be able to write papers for school, do research and learn basic skills that will be beneficial down the road. I don't see learning how to rescue the princess while catching flying stars and mushrooms doing that. (Sorry, Mario Brothers is about the extent of my video game knowledge. I'm very happily out of that loop.)

A mommy blogger over at Ellinghouse, recently posted a pic of her daughter at her new (to her) computer, clicking away. This mommy is on the same page as my husband and I as far as the video games go and plans on keeping computer time down to a minimum as well.

What regulations do you implement as far as computer time and video games go at your house?

We bloggers are known for our opinions. Here are a couple of places where you can let them be known.

I just read a post over at SAHMmySays that is sure to get quite a debate going in the comments. SAHMmy is breaking open the touchy subject of the staying at home with the kids versus choosing daycare while you work.

"Children do not ask to be born; they are invited to join us and deserve to be treated as honored guests at the party of Life. Children are not a hobby. Work outside the home if you want to! Keep crazy hours, be a power player, fulfill your destiny--but find a way to do it that does not require subletting your children to a daycare provider. Commit to keeping your kids parent-raised."

Wow. Talk about opening a can of worms. Head over there to put in your two cents.

Another Mommy blogger has begun tackling the tough issues on her brand new blog. Tia, of Living Deliberately, has very recently started up 2sides2everystory. It's a blog where she brings up controversial issues and let's the commenters hash it all out. So far she has covered Wal-Mart and censorship.

Don't be shy. Go let everyone know what you really think!

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 32 years old, whoo hoo! 32 is the new 23, or something like that. All I know is, I'm happy to be this age- I'm finally old enough to have some respectability/authority, but I'm still young enough to look cute in jeans and a t-shirt. Perfect.

I'm not the only person to have had a birthday yesterday. Tanyetta's daughter and Jessica's son both had birthdays yesterday. Happy birthday, kids!

I asked for a trip (alone) to the beach for my birthday. I didn't think I would get it because it would take elaborate rearranging of schedules and more money than we really had available. Even so, I asked and my husband listened- I got my trip to the beach. As I type, I can smell the air of the sea. I'm not literally AT the beach at the moment- it has rained for most of my trip- but I am close enough. Tomorrow it is supposed to be warm and sunny, so I'll finally get to go.

In the meantime I have gone to get my hair done, had a professional massage, and have slept late. Don't hate me, mamas! I would have never guessed in a million years that I would be this lucky. The sad part is, I miss the kids and wish they were here. The grass is always greener, isn't it?

This mom isn't spending her time on line reading the endless stream of blogs or shopping for the latest internet bargains. She's hunting down the bad guys!

And I thought finding a great recipe was a successful day on the lap top!

Okay, so she really didn't win an actual award but White Trash Mom has gone and voted herself as the worst mother of the year. Evidently, she had quite a week last week and claims to have failed miserably at the administrative portion of motherhood........

"Monday, September 10th
Get a call from younger daughter's school.  Miss Margarita/Minnesota's school.  The school directory is being held up for printing.  Because of me.  I did not fill out something correctly.  They called me the week before but our voice mail was full.  They couldn't leave a message.  600 families in the school. 599 did it right.  1 did it wrong."

Oh, come on. That's not that big of a deal. Is it? Those families should take a chill pill and relax. That's not enough to make White Trash Mom the absolute worst, is it? Not by my standards anyway. But unfortunately there's more. Our favorite White Trash Mom points to more evidence that leads her to believe she's the worst mom ever. You will laugh yourself silly. Cast your vote on whether or not she's the worst or maybe you've got a story that proves you're the worst mom ever. Do tell!

by kristen munson

Kat Coble has a great discussion about what you should tell your daughter about career choices when she grows up. Everyone's basically like, "Yeah, we just want our daughters to be happy."

Sure ya do. I'll admit it- my daughter is extremely smart and I want her to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon, because I think she honestly is intelligent enough to really change the world.

That's why my heart breaks when she tells me she wants to be a model or a professional ice skater (that one confuses me as she has never been ice skating and she is, well, not the most graceful person ever). I just want to shake her and scream that she is capable of so much more!

But I don't, because I don't want to be that kind of parent. Instead I encourage her in her other interests and hope those will stick. I know the pro ice skater dream will never come true, but what if she does become a model? I guess as long as she is happy, I will be happy.

We've written countless articles on kids' sports and the politics involved, but nothing beats the story going on over at Suburban Turmoil.

Evidently, Lindsay's daughter is on a soccer team consisting of mostly 3 year olds. When an overactive dad from the other team decides to freak out during a game because of one 5 year old........well, you simply must head over there to read what happened. It is hilarious. Have you ever experienced anything like this?

By Kristen Munson

It is no secret that kids love things that make noise. And it's also no secret that music can be very beneficial in may areas of children's lives, like math and moods.

You don't have to wait for music classes that start in kindergarten and you don't have to pay for those expensive toddler music classes either.

Here are a few ways to get your children interested in music right at home.

1. Pass on your old instruments. Give Junior your old tambourine, harmonica or trombone. They may not know how to hit middle C but they'll have fun giving it a shot.

2. Make an instrument. Whether it is rice in an oatmeal box, a little bell, rubber bands stretched over a tissue box, or a wooden spoon and some pots and pans, your little ones will love being able to make their own tunes!

3. Turn up the music! You may already listen to music every day, but try asking some questions to get your children to really think about it. Some questions you can ask are, "Do you think people would dance fast or slow to this song?" "I can hear the drums. What instruments do you hear?" or "Does this song sound happy or sad to you?"

4. Shine that spotlight! Let your children know you are proud of their musical efforts by videotaping or taking pictures of their performances. You could even put together a special performance for Daddy, Grandma, or even the mailman. Your kids will love having an audience and look forward to pleasing those they love.

Stephanie over at Adventures in the 100 Acre Wood has some adorable little musicians at her house. Be sure to check out their music video!

Remember this from your childhood? Don't we need to give our kids this message, too? I think so.

[Thanks Jag, for reminding me of this great song!]

The human body is an interesting machine. Nearly every part serves an important purpose and the way they all work together is downright fascinating.

And then again there are the parts that leave us with a huge, "Huh?" look on our faces. Like the thing that hangs in the back of our throat. Or the fact that we have tonsils and appendixes but can do just fine without them. And, of course, there is the age old question, "Why do men have nipples?"

As it turns out, they have them for almost the same reason women do. To soothe their babies.

According to FathersDirect.com, men of the Aka Pygmy tribe have used their nipples as a soothing tool for their infants. I guess it makes sense. Just think about it. We use plastic, man made replicas (pacifiers) when mama's breast isn't available. So why not have the other primary caretaker pitch in?

If it weren't for some social norms, men today would probably do it, too.

Another week, another link roundup! Let's see what I found in my feed reader, shall we?

My kids actually like to watch football, so I don't need this hack. But it's a nifty little trick, so I'm sharing.

Have yourself a ghetto little Christmas, thanks to these fab Big Lots finds!

Sure, you could go to PopSugar or The Superficial for all your post-Emmy dishing, but I prefer Suburban Turmoil.

Wanna recycle those magazines? BlogMagazine.com has a great way to do so!

Heeeeeey! Why didn't you gals tell me it was "Get your hair did" weekend? First Meredith let her kid cut her hair, and it turned out really nice! Then Tanyetta got her hair braided. She loves the results but says it HURTS! I've considered getting my hair braided, but would it look stupid on a pansy white girl like me? Probably. Tanyetta looks totally cute, though, I'm jealous.

Redneck Mommy has a beautiful, heart wrenching post about fall, the season of grief in her household. Go give her some hugs.

Boogiemum has a gas(oline- this is not a farting contest) challenge happening! What a great idea. Go on over to her place for details.

Well, Shak-ers, that's all I've got! Have a fabulous week!

[Photo Credit: icanhaschezburger.com]

I am running off of the steam now – lack-of-sleep-caffeine-driven – steam. Many parents are these days with families on the go for what seems like 24/7. Face the facts. Our bodies face the facts head on everyday - we just don’t get enough sleep.

Between my full-time family, full-time work, and full-time school, there is a lot of full-time going to other places then full-time sleep. Our bodies crave sleep just as they crave water, we just don’t give in like we should.

I never realized exactly what I was forcing my body through with lack of sleep until I read a recent article from WomensHealth.com. Eight hours of sleep – what’s that? Sounds like a peaceful nights rest to all of us, but most will never see it.

Take a look at Shhhh...This is Your Brain on Sleep from WomensHealth.com. Sweet Dreams!

Here we go...I am now in what they call the "teenage years" and I am supposed to know the answers to everything. What I mean is, I feel like I just brought my firstborn home from the hospital. Do you remember when you had your first baby and you were calling the pediatrician over every little noise your baby made? Well, I certainly remember because I did just that!

It seems like all of a sudden I don't know what I am doing anymore and need someone to tell me the right answers to all of the do and donts for teens.

When Should Kids Start Dating over at Supernanny Rules caught my eye......

"When I was growing up, my father made it VERY clear that I was not going to start dating until I was 16 and not a single day before!

The issue was never pushed.  I knew he meant business.

Once I did reach the age of 16 and was able to start dating, it was nearly impossible to have a social life, because word of my strict dad spread quickly around our school.

All it took was ONE date to ruin my social life and teen dating career, but looking back, I’m glad my dad did what he did."

I was also 16 when I was allowed to go on my first date. I never had a problem with it though I am not sure that I would give my child an age that I think they will be ready.

I believe that as parents we should not allow our children to be in situations that they are not ready for. Just because the times change or other teens are doing it does not mean that mine will be.

At one point in my life I spoke Spanish with some fluency. As time has gone on, I have forgotten much of what I know. Now, I can red Spanish with some fluency, but speaking Spanish is a whole 'nother thing.

My Spanish has deteriorated to what I like to call "kitchen spanish" and "Dora spanish". I can toss out easy words no problem, but putting them together with decent grammar isn't really possible. I can also swear up a storm, but that doesn't really help when I'm trying to teach my kids Spanish.

All their lives, I have tossed out Spanish words instead of English words so the kids would pick up on them and know them naturally. I always wanted to raise bilingual kids.

The only problem is, my Spanish has deteriorated so badly that I've been saying the wrong words. Like last night. SpiderMan and HelloKitty were running in and out of a gate at a birthday party, and every time they would do so, I would shout, "Abrir el gato!" after them. Which sounds really great, but my friend who speaks Spanish better than I do, laughed and laughed.

This is because "Abrir el gato!" doesn't mean anything close to "Close the gate!" Oh, no. It means "Open the cat." Perhaps I am doing more harm than good. I might be raising bilingual serial killers.

Our own dear Sarah has the Hot Mama Revolution over at her personal blog. I think it's a fabulous idea- one thing we mommies tend to forget is ourselves.

One of the things I have been trying to do is look halfway decent when I leave the house. I admit I'm still in my PJs until about 3 in the afternoon most days, but when I leave the house, I'm stylin'.

My very fave way to look great is to toss on some eyeliner and lipgloss. It adds about 2 minutes to my grooming routine but makes scads of difference in how I look. I look somehow more put together with just those tiny little differences.

I'm also a huge fan of wearing cute shoes. Target usually has the absolute cutest shoes for cheap, cheap, cheap! I also really love Kohl's for my shoe buying needs.

For more tips, check this newspaper article out (featuring ME!) on ways to look like you have lost weight (even if you haven't.)

I admit I had no clue what Oktoberfest was growing up. I had never even heard of the German tradition before a few years ago and even then had never attended a festival. Since receiving my latest and greatest newsletter from Family Education, I have decided this year my kids and I will check out our local festival and see what we have been missing.

Yes, I know, when you hear the word Oktoberfest, what comes to mind - beer, but in today’s growing family world Oktoberfest is a fall festival that the whole family can enjoy.

According to the official Munich web site the first Oktoberfest was held in 1810, but was not an actual festival, but a celebration at the wedding of Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese of Saxony-Hildburghausen.

This year, Munich will celebrate their 174th Oktoberfest! You should join in the festivities. Here is a list of larger cities that will be having some Oktoberfest fun, both the United States and Canada. Your city may be having their own fun fall festival, make sure to check your city’s web site or your local paper for more information.

There comes a time in every pregnancy when you can't quite squeeze into your old jeans anymore, but maternity ones are still way too big and way too....well, maternity looking. Not too long ago, you just had to suck it up and wear the maternity pants as soon as your old ones got snug.

A lot has changed in maternity fashion in the past few years and this in between pants stage has been addressed too. You now have the option of the belly band. It's a lot like a big headband that fits around your waist and covers up the fact that you can no longer fasten that top button. It is very affordable and available at most maternity clothing stores.

If you want to be a little more stylish, you can now get b-buckles. Make sure to click on the link and check out the video. B-buckles are a little strip of fabric which hooks onto your first belt loop on either side of your fly. You can just leave your pants undone and the b-buckle will hold everything together for you.

They come with adorable designs, too. My favorite is probably the one in the video that says "love."  But they also have heart and flower designs and sayings like "rock start mama" and "bun in the oven."

I wish I had known about these when I was pregnant. I just relied on a rubber band hooked through the button hole and looped over the button. I would have felt much more stylish with b-buckles.

From the time we were first married up until very recently, the amount of groceries we buy has remained pretty consistent.  Sure we upped it a little with a few jars of baby food here and there and the occasional character covered box of cereal. But these kids don't eat much, usually just a few spoons of whatever we are having is enough for them.

But over the past few weeks, my 4 year old has decided he is going to really start eating like a boy. And Oh My Word can that boy pack it away! Not only is he now cleaning his plate (a very rare occurrence) he is now actually asking for seconds.

Beyond meals, he has gotten really big on snacks, too. We generally carry very little in the way of junk food in our house. So here is a short list of the snacks he can choose from at any time:

• a handful of almonds or peanuts
• his choice from the fruit drawer (always well stocked at our house)
• a box of raisins or handful of craisins
• pretzels or a few crackers

Of course, we can't be super-healthy all the time so occasionally I throw a bowl of "fun snack" into the mix. It's kind of like a trail mix of whatever we have on hand. Todays version had pretzels, goldfish crackers, a couple of Twizzlers and a few marshmallows. The boys loved it!

So what do you serve up at snack time? What are the favorites at your place?

Hey moms.....I found a cool appliance and you can check it out over at Shaktronics.

Everyone needs a slow cooker and everyone needs a griddle and you get those two things all in one appliance.

I enjoy cooking, so I think it's cool!

Hello Love Shak, Baby! I usually write for the Shakadoo blog Shak & Jill, but today my colleague Ivy and I are trading places because we want to talk about something in the other's field of expertise. 

I have a two daughters.  The oldest is (so far) a well-grounded, logical almost 17-year old.  My youngest is 12-years old (going on 16) and is boy c.r.a.z.y. 

Honestly, I think it's pretty natural for girls that age to have boys on the brain.  I don't mind at all, except for one thing.  The boys like her back. And yes, boyS as in more than one. Two boys have already aked her to middle school homecoming, two are vying for her attention on the bus, and another keeps sending her notes: "Do you like me?  Circle yes or no."  and "I really want to know because I like you.  Circle true or false."  Ay yi yi.

I've been pretty cool, calm and collected throughout all the swooning over Zac Efron, Zack & Cody, and whatever rapper she's latched her attention on to... until last night.  My husband and I took our daughters to a concert at the world-famous Ryman Auditorium.  The Ryman has pew-type seating so my daughter snuggled up next to me.  I put my arm around her shoulders and glanced down.  She turned her face up and puckered her lips expecting a kiss. I said, "You are not allowed to date until you're 25." She said, "Wha?  WHY?  That's not fair!" I said, "The minute a boy puts his arm around your shoulders, you are going to want to kiss him!" We both cracked up laughing.  But she doesn't know how serious I am!  I hope I can keep my watchful eye on her until she's 25! And I haven't begun to think about this or this!  I think I'm going to need a barrel of headache medicine.  Wish me luck!