"A good dad is.......", that is the question posed to you by Become A Better Father. Do you think you can answer that question?

Enter the 1st Annual Father's Day Writing Contest and you could win "A free one-hour consultation with Scott Hammond, a $25 Starbucks gift card, a full-featured blog post on Become A Better Father, and much, much more!" 

Father's day is June 15 and Shakadoo has a great gift idea for that special man in our lives!

Back away from the ugly ties and golf shirts ladies! This year, give your Father or your children's Father something that he will absolutely love! Love Shak Baby and Wholesalekeychain.com is excited to announce our latest giveaway! 

Shak and wholesalekeychain.com are offering our readers the chance to win three Digital Photo Keychains! This contest will run from today, May 31st until June 11th.

From now until midnight CDT June 11th, here's what you need to do in order to be entered to win:

* Go over to the Wholesalekeychain website and take a look around.

* Take a look at their huge assortment of automotive, sports and digital  keychains.

* Leave a comment on this post telling us which ones you like and your thoughts on how these products could be used as great promotional items.

* Make sure you leave us a valid email address so we can contact you when you win!

* Tell everyone you know! Help us spread the word- link us on your blog, Twitter about this, email your friends, an let all your neighbors know!

Three winners will be randomly selecting to each win 1 Digital Photo Keychain. All three winners will be announced on June 12th! This giveaway is open to US residents only.

The Digital Photo Keychain features a 1.5 inch screen and holds up to 70 pictures! But what sets this company apart is they offer custom engraved messages to your loved ones on the back.

Don't want to wait for the end of the contest for your Digital Photo Keychain? Need one in time for Fathers Day?  -You're in luck! Wholesalekeychain.com is offering free shipping for any keychains purchased by Shakadoo readers. Just enter the coupon code "Shakadoo" when you check out  and your shipping will be free. Prices start at only $19.99, but hurry- this discount is only available until August 30, 2008!

(This is a "sticky" post and will remain at the top of the page for the duration of Just In Time For Father's Day Giveaway but new posts will be written daily and published underneath this post.)

It seems as if Ivy and I were both sick at the same time. I wish I had read her post If She's Upright, She's Fine a little sooner because that might have helped! Unfortunately, it would not have mattered too much in the end.

This all started with my son who got the flu which progressed to pneumonia. I got sick next with the flu and bronchitis. My oldest son was the next victim and had a sick birthday weekend. Then it claimed the the worst person possible..... my husband!

My husband is the biggest baby when he is sick. He holes himself away in the bedroom and cannot be disturbed. He is grumpy and acts like the only person that has ever been sick. Yes, I am still annoyed by it and cannot hide that fact. If I got more help when I was sick then it would not bother me so much.

How is your husband when he is sick? I would love to hear that my DH is not the only big baby around.

If you ask any parent what their favorite sound is, most of them would answer that it is the sound of their child laughing. If you have not seen this video already, you should watch it. It is the cutest little boy just cracking up! His father is so happy hearing his little guy laughing this way.

Yesterday, I wrote about the philosophies of one famous dad, Dr. Phil.  He always has sound advice and a great tough love approach. Today I would like to present to you another dad worth listening to.

Scott Hammond has unveiled his new blog Fatherspeak.com. His blog has information on family, parenting, relationships, goals and more all from the perspective of a father of nine. 

From the relationship development section of his blog, Scott talks about 10 THINGS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY $$:

"Too often in our capitalistic society, we place too much emphasis on financial achievement and too little on the importance of living a purpose driven life.

1. Family… your spouse, your parents, and her kids should come first.  Just simply providing for them does not make your family, your number one priority.  There is far more you can do for them with quality and quantity time.  Love is spelled…. TIME.
2. Friends… the older some of us get, the less time we have for our friends. Some people get too busy climbing the success ladder and may not even make time for friends.  Big mistake. So many things in our society are disposable, and sadly, friends too often fall into that category.  Take time to invest in your friendships, both old and new.  How hard is it to schedule a Starbucks, pick up the phone, or write an e-mail?
3. Your health… stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, poor relationships with you and your family… all of these can adversely affect your health.  Getting caught up in your career and working endless hours can also lead to neglect of one’s health.  Workaholism can be deadly.  The lack of discipline in making exercise, sleep, a good diet, and a healthy lifestyle can be dangerous if not deadly as well.  You get one body, take care of it and treat it with the respect it deserves.
4. Kids… investing in your kids is absolutely one of the best investments you can make. Understanding how to relate to, love, care for, and communicate with your kids is vital to becoming a more fulfilled and complete person. Our future is our children. What kind of legacy are you leaving behind?  Relationships that are fully orbed or just a fat portfolio?
5. Education… being a lifelong learner is a lifelong process.  It’s not about being enrolled in the school or a fancy college or receiving a piece of paper. It is, however, about being someone who is hungry to learn, willing to change, and ready to embrace new ways of looking at life and the universe. As long as you have your mental capacities, you can keep learning and building on what you already know.  Your mind is a terrible thing to waste.
6. Having fun… people get so caught up in society’s money game that wealth becomes an addiction, an obsession, and the purpose for their existence. How many wealthy people aren’t healthy people who spend far too much time and energy chasing read the rest.......

Apparently Scott has his priorities straight! I think he has a lot to teach everyone.

I came across an very interesting blog by a man named Scott Hammond. Mr. Hammond is a motivational speaker who addresses issues about parenting, goal setting and personal life improvement skills. It seems that his current focus is centered around coaching fathers to help them improve their parenting skills. Could he be the next Dr. Phil for dads?

In is blog Momentum Creation, Mr. Hammond talks about raising his family with his wife. They have nine children and have learned how to balance family and work in a very large household. His blog has a wealth of information and tips for keeping things running smoothly within the home.

Mr. Hammond's latest series Good Dad/ Bad Dad...7 Secrets of Effective Fathering /Introduction, shares his thoughts about being an effective father:

"We have no training, no schools, no workshops, few seminars, and no classes on how to be an effective father... moreover, as you learned from the exercise above, we have very few examples from which to learn.
At the end of the day, or even the beginning for that matter, a dad has to ask the following questions...

1. Who am I?
2. What do I want?
3. Why am I here?
4. What's not working now?
5. What would I like to see start working now...

I will attempt to answer these questions as the Good Dad/Bad Dad seven secrets to effective fathering continues..."

That was part of the introduction to the series and there is more to learn. I am intrigued to see what else he has to say. As a mom, I will find this information useful too because it gives me ideas to share with my husband.

Society has a lot of problems and families seem to be suffering. I like seeing some positive ideas and thoughts that could help people strive to do better. 

I came across a post today written by a dad that knows how to be a good dad! How To Be A Good Dad-10 Things My Father Taught Me has a list that every father should read....

Here we go, then, with 10 things my father taught me about how to be a good dad:

1. Be Calm

   Kids will always do things to provoke you, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.  A good dad should keep his temper, not yelling or screaming, or throwing huge punishments for a minor offense just because he's angry.  After all, you don't really want to teach your kids to do those things, do you?
   

2. Be Loving

   It's important to remind your kids that you love them.  This includes telling them that you love them, but also other things, like being supportive when they need it, wiping away tears, and hugging them... no matter how big they get.  Showing you love them is just as important as telling them that you love them... but don't forget to tell them, too.

3. Be Patient

   Sometimes you may wish your kids would just get around to learning something already, or that they would finally be responsible and take care of their chores without having to be reminded 143 times.  It's at these times that you need to be patient and remember that kids are kids... give them time, give them your patience.  They are worth it.

4. Be Proud

   It's sort of a cliche that fathers are proud of their children... but a lot of fathers don't realize how important it is to actually tell their kids, not just their friends and coworkers!  Your kids need to know that you're proud of them... and the things that they do that you show them you're proud of are the things they will try to do again.  If you show them that you are proud of their good grades, they will try to get good grades... if you show them that you are proud of them being a good person, or good with their siblings, or something else, they will do whatever it is that made you proud again (or at least try).

5. Be Honest

   It's important to be honest with your children.  It's important to be honest in general, really, but your kids will learn from you... and you want them to be honest, presumably.  If you don't want your children to know about something, whether because it's inappropriate for them or for other reasons, tell them that... don't just lie to cover it up.

6. Be Firm

   When you set rules, make them stick.  If they are supposed to be home by 8:00, and they walk in the door at 8:07, they need to be punished, barring extenuating circumstances... and there shouldn't ALWAYS be extenuating circumstances.  On the other hand, don't be unbendable... let them have a little freedom, and give them a break if the rule break is an exception, rather than the rule.

7. Be Yourself

   It's important to be yourself around your children.  Some people are completely different people around their children than they are around other people.  Your children WILL see this, and it will have two negative effects:  it will erode their trust in you (You ARE being deceitful after all... you can't honestly be two different people), and it will teach them that this is appropriate behavior for them as well. You may find this second part affects you directly... they may be an entirely different person in front of you than they are around their friends.

8. Be Father First, Friend Second

   It is awesome to not only be a parent, but also a friend to your child. You need to remember which one comes first, however.  Kids need a dad more than they need a friend, and you're the best option for that... and if you won't be a father to them, they'll be looking for that influence elsewhere.

9. Be Respectful

   It's very important to teach your children to respect you... but it's also very important that you respect them.  This means giving them room to grow and learn, it means talking to them as an equal (when you can... it's not appropriate when setting rules or punishment, for example), and treating them as their own individual person.  It means respecting their decisions when you can, even if it's not what you would have done, or not what you think is best for them.  That doesn't mean don't give advice... just accept that sometimes they need to make their own way.  It's the only way they'll ever grow up mentally and emotionally.

10. Be There

    This could be a whole article by itself... and who knows, at some point it may be!  For this article, however, I'll keep it simple:  Children need a father.  They need a father who is in their life, who pays attention to them, who is interested in them, who does things with them, and asks about them.  Time without attention, like in a marriage, is worse than no time at all.  Show them that they are important to you... give them your time AND attention.

I love this. I think we should all print this list for the dad's in our children's life. Our children learn from us every day and what a great list to learn from.

Head on over to A Miracle A Day to read the whole article.

The human body is an interesting machine. Nearly every part serves an important purpose and the way they all work together is downright fascinating.

And then again there are the parts that leave us with a huge, "Huh?" look on our faces. Like the thing that hangs in the back of our throat. Or the fact that we have tonsils and appendixes but can do just fine without them. And, of course, there is the age old question, "Why do men have nipples?"

As it turns out, they have them for almost the same reason women do. To soothe their babies.

According to FathersDirect.com, men of the Aka Pygmy tribe have used their nipples as a soothing tool for their infants. I guess it makes sense. Just think about it. We use plastic, man made replicas (pacifiers) when mama's breast isn't available. So why not have the other primary caretaker pitch in?

If it weren't for some social norms, men today would probably do it, too.

First, thanks for the comments yesterday on my "Call For Mommy/Daddy Bloggers" post. Keep the comments coming- send your friends! I'd like to have at least as many mommy/daddy blogs as I do Nashville blogs. Yes, I do have time to read all these, sort of, anyway.

At any rate, one of the new bloggers to my reading list, Tanyetta, has a post today that hits on my very biggest parenting pet peeve: Dads who "babysit" their own kids.

I could go on about how much I hate this all day. Dads, when your wife is somewhere else, you're NOT babysitting. You're hanging out with your kids. Are we babysitting while you're at work or hunting or fishing or whatever manly pursuits you're off doing? No. We're parenting. Or, heck, just living our lives. Why is it so special when you do it?

And the women that enable this behavior irk me just as badly. The women in Tanyetta's post are perfect examples of this. When I used to hang out on AOL message boards, there were many mothers who would incinerate any woman who dared admit she spent a moment away from little Bratleigh. I tried to live by their Alpha-Mom code and ended up nearly crazy from it.

Once I started spending time away from my kids, I was a better mom. And my husband was a better dad because he was able to trust his own parenting instinct and just be a dad without me breathing down his neck telling him he wasn't doing it right. Sure, he didn't do things "right"- that is to say, my way. He did things his way, which is just as acceptable.

So, mommies, don't feel bad for getting in some "me" time. It's important to spend time with your kids, but it's also important to take care of yourself. Enjoy it, don't feel guilty. Dad and the kids will be fine.

Oh, lifehack.org, how I love you. You're one of my very favorite blogs- and that says a lot, I read a LOT of blogs. Today they bring us a story that's close to my own heart- how to be a great stepdad.

Dustin writes:

Becoming a step-dad is akin to becoming a father, but there are a few important differences that I’ve learned matter a lot. For one thing, it happens pretty quickly — one minute you’re single, the next minute you are surrounded by children in varying stages of development. There’s no slowly growing into your role or nine months of anticipation. [...] I’m not sure I’m a great step-father just yet, but I do think I’m becoming one.

I love that. And I think my husband, who is also a stepfather, would agree. Dustin goes on to make some great points, especially "Your love knows no bounds, but your authority does". I was just telling a friend last night that we don't have a whole lot of that "You're not my dad, you can't tell me what to do" with my 13 year old, because Mr. Ivy doesn't go around trying to assert his authority all over Flip. Flip must be respectful to Mr. Ivy, of course, but Mr. Ivy doesn't go ordering him around or punishing him, either.

Instead, Mr. Ivy handles things like, "Flip, could you tell your friends not to call the house at 2 AM? It disturbs our sleep." and "Flip, would you mind helping me clean out the garage? I'll let you start the truck." It works wonders in our house. Flip and Mr. Ivy also have common interests, and they pursue them together.

So, if you're in a stepparenting relationship, go on over to lifehack and see what Dustin's on about, it's an important read.

I love to see Mr. Ivy and Flip together. I married Mr. Ivy when Flip was five years old, and I worried that Flip would pull that "you're not my father, you can't tell me what to do" routine on Mr. Ivy the minute he became a teenager. So far, all is well with that.

Mr. Ivy and Flip have a kind of respectful friendship going on. They play video games together and watch football together. Flip spends more time hanging out with Mr. Ivy than my brother ever did with my father. My brother and my father have very dissimilar interests, however, so I think that has a lot to do with it.

Regardless, I think it's great that Mr. Ivy and Flip have such a good relationship. Flip has a good relationship with his biological dad as well, and I think having 2 strong male role models can only be good for him as he grows into his teen years.

Do your kids have a stepparent? What is their relationship like?

My dad swears he never changed one of mine or my brother's stinky, dirty diapers when we were kids. I actually find this hard to believe since my own husband has been so hands on with our own kids but evidently it is quite the norm.  According to a recent article in the Seattle Post's Intelligencer's "working dad", a survey was done that showed only 7% of stay at home moms say dads take the lead in diaper duty when both parents are home.

Sort of pathetic in my opinion since changing a diaper is sort of like getting a hall pass, at least that's what Mike, a stay at home dad, from Strollerderby says. "If dads would just change a diaper at say....... 3 am, he might get the whole day off but if you slack you miss out on so many other opportunities."  Mike notes that the equation is simple:

• Change a diaper, don't do the dishes.
• Change a diaper, don't clean out the diaper pail.
• Change a diaper, don't "listen" about her work day. Ugh.
• Change a diaper, don't visit the in-laws. (Not you, Marilyn and Duane!)
• Change a diaper, don't put the lid down.
• Change a diaper, don't even lift it in the first place.
• Change a diaper, don't worry about shoving all that "college money" down a g-string.
• Change a diaper, and the possibilities are endless.

Get a clue, dads! It's that simple!

Jim, at Storkcalling, led us to a great post regarding the top 10 reasons that geeks make good dads....

"A witty column on how the geek shall inherit the earth.  If you've got a Science Hubby who is into Star Trek, the original BSG, and can tell the difference between AMD And Intel, then you've got a good Geek Dad."

Inspired by Maryam's Geek Blog: The Do's and Don't of Dating Geeks, Helen gives ten great reasons that her "geeky" husband makes a great dad.

Jim's favorite is #9, what's your favorite?

"1. LEGOS. The Geek is really more of a Man-Child than an adult. In their minds, they are still 10. They freakin' still love to play with their legos, and have never grown up. I have one friend, WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS, that still has legos in his room. He doesn't have kids. Just legos. Of course, my children love legos and Steve will lovingly spend hours playing legos with them.

 

2. VIDEO GAMES. Due to the whole Man-Child thing as stated in #1, the Geek loves video games. And he's good at them too. My husband is the hit of all the kids' friends because not only can he talk video games, he plays them too. If my children get "stuck" while playing their Gameboys and bring it to me for assistance, all I can do is feebly hold it and say " Mommy doesn't know how to play this." Daddy, however, can beat the game.

 

3. MATH. A huge plus here. No matter how old they get, Steve can still help with the math homework. My ability to be of assistance is going to last another few years before *I* end up throwing the math homework across the room in disgust.

 

4. SMART KIDS. Smart Geeks make smart children. Although for the most part, it's great to have really intelligent children, when your just turned two year old is using the word PREPOSTEROUS correctly, it makes for some difficult times as they get older. I literally spend a large part of my time scheming to stay one step ahead of my oldest child.