I am really trying to decide how I feel about kids having cell phones. What is the right age? Is giving your child a cell phone spoiling them excessively? Does the convenience outweigh the seemingly ridiculous notion of it? These are some of the thoughts going through my mind about the subject.

My oldest son is just nine and many of his friends have cell phones already. I just think it is a little too much a little too soon. Although, having a cell phone on your child might provide an extra measure of safety. They would be able to reach you quickly if they needed you. You would also be able to keep tabs on them a little better I suppose.

I was reading a blog called Motherwise Cracks and her article about "Cell Phone Snobbery". This type of thing is what makes me lean towards giving kids cell phones is spoiling them too much:   

"I handed my cell phone to my son’s friend so he could call home. He handed it back to me and asked someone else to use their phone. I asked what the matter was and he replied, “I’m not used to such a basic model.”

Where do you stand on this subject? Kids and cell phones: too much or just normal for the times?

A 13 year old girl committed suicide in 2006 after receiving a series of cruel messages through MySpace. Megan Meier thought she was talking to a teenage boy who had befriended her on the social networking site. After three weeks of friendly communications between the two, he turned on her and told her that the world would be a better place without her. Megan took her own life shortly after receiving that last message.

The horrible twist to this story is that there never was a teenage boy. The MySpace profile was created by a grown woman who wanted to keep tabs on what Megan might be saying about her daughter. This adult woman was responsible for fooling a young girl and making her think that these nasty messages were coming from a cute boy.

This woman, Lori Drew, was indicted yesterday for her role in the suicide. Apparently, Lori Drew even started a blog called "Megan Had It Coming". Wow! I truly hope this woman is put in prison for a very long time. Her actions were horribly disgusting and irresponsible. The video below is from CNN and contains a phone interview with Tina Meier, Megan's mother. This story really makes me sad.

We all know the importance of monitoring our children on MySpace and other internet messaging.  I was watching my son last night chatting away to some friends and couldn't understand a thing that he wrote. Everything was in code. So I decided to do some some decoding myself and found exactly what I was looking for at MSNBC.

They have a whole list of abbreviations that teens use while messaging. Like POS means "parent over shoulder", I just love that one. PIR is "parent in room".... KOL is "kiss on lips"...TDTM is "talk dirty to me"

Every parent should have this list. I printed it and now I will know exactly what my son is talking about. He tells me that I'm old all of the time, but what he should know is that along with age comes wisdom.

I was so happy to read a post written at Strollerderby called MySpace Tries To Clean Up For The Kids. I am right in the middle of the whole MySpace chatting thing with my 15 year old. While I understand how much fun this can be, I also know the dangers involved.

I am sure that most of you have heard the awful story about the teenager that committed suicide because of a joke that was played on her. That girl lives in the same town as I do so it feels much more real. I don't want this to happen to my family.

Though I am still skeptical of MySpace, I am glad they are finally taking some steps to help our kids stay safe.....

"Letting parent submit a list of their kids' email addresses to MySpace so that if the kid tries to create a profile there they are turned down. Except, uh, a kid can create a new email address in like 20 seconds. Brilliant, MySpace!"

I am not sure if the other things they are going to do will work but at least they are trying. If anyone out there has any good tips that they use at home, we would love to hear it. Every little tip helps. 

How far would you go to know for sure if your child were using drugs? I so wish I didn't have to think of this. I refuse to be naive about the subject but I hope and pray I do not have to deal with it. Do I sound naive?
An article published at canada.com talks about drug testing from home...

"VANCOUVER -- An American company has come up with a home drug-testing kit for parents who suspect their kids are up to no good.

Parents can already use GPS tracking devices in cars or cellphones to monitor their teens' whereabouts and online monitoring tools to track their kids' Internet usage.

Now, for $64.99 US, HairConfirm can let parents know within 48 hours if their teen is using drugs.

"It can test for seven different drugs -- including amphetamines, cocaine, ecstasy, PCP and marijuana," said Confirm BioSciences CEO Zeynep Ilgaz, whose San Diego-based company posted revenues last year of $2.6 million.

The one-time-use kit provides an accurate drug history of up to 90 days, including frequency of use, said Ilgaz.

"It can tell if the person is experimenting, if they're a recreational user or addicted."

Do you really not trust your kids this much? I had to stop and think about this one. I guess if I thought there was a true addiction and I knew I was helping them, I would do it. I hope to always have an open and honest relationship with my kids.  Sound naive again? I hope not!

I'd like to think that I am building solid and trusting relationships with my kids. I want them to trust me enough to talk with me about everything. If I sound naive please don't tell me because I don't want to know. I will get through these years!

What do you think? Tough one or no brainer? Let me know.

Is it a good for teens to have a GPS system on their cell phones? That is the question that I am sure will have many different opinions. The post over at Supernanny Rules called Should Your Teen's Cell Phone Have GPS is asking the same question.....

"You ask them to call to let you know where they are, and they do. From their cell phone. In a perfect world with perfect teens, they’re telling the absolute truth when reporting their whereabouts, but, it’s not a perfect world, is it? Hence “call me back from a land line”. This provides Caller ID information that (hopefully) matches the location the little darling gave you. And with so many kids being savvy to technology and knowing how to get around the caller I.D. rule, consider GPS tracking on the phone."

If you would have asked me this question years ago, I would have said NO WAY. My opinion has changed since I am now raising a teen. Now, let's remember he is the firstborn and as mom's we tend to be extra cautious the first time around with everything. I can admit that in my case but I do think it is a good idea.

I am sure that all of the parents of abducted children, wished their child had a GPS system on them at the time. Like I always say, communication is the key to raising happy healthy kids and teens. As long as they know that it isn't about you not trusting them but for their protection, it's all good.

Here we go...I am now in what they call the "teenage years" and I am supposed to know the answers to everything. What I mean is, I feel like I just brought my firstborn home from the hospital. Do you remember when you had your first baby and you were calling the pediatrician over every little noise your baby made? Well, I certainly remember because I did just that!

It seems like all of a sudden I don't know what I am doing anymore and need someone to tell me the right answers to all of the do and donts for teens.

When Should Kids Start Dating over at Supernanny Rules caught my eye......

"When I was growing up, my father made it VERY clear that I was not going to start dating until I was 16 and not a single day before!

The issue was never pushed.  I knew he meant business.

Once I did reach the age of 16 and was able to start dating, it was nearly impossible to have a social life, because word of my strict dad spread quickly around our school.

All it took was ONE date to ruin my social life and teen dating career, but looking back, I’m glad my dad did what he did."

I was also 16 when I was allowed to go on my first date. I never had a problem with it though I am not sure that I would give my child an age that I think they will be ready.

I believe that as parents we should not allow our children to be in situations that they are not ready for. Just because the times change or other teens are doing it does not mean that mine will be.

The scariest thing for me as a mom is to think that my kids will experiment with drugs. I remember being around drugs when I was growing up but was paranoid about ever using them. My parents were lucky that I was afraid of just about everything. I knew that I would be the one that would have the heart attack on the first try, so I never tried them. There is a wonderful website called NIDA For Teens that has information that every parent and teen should have.....

"The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a component of the National Institutes of Heath (NIH), created this Web site to educate adolescents ages 11 through 15 (as well as their parents and teachers) on the science behind drug abuse. NIDA enlisted the help of teens in developing the site to ensure that the content addresses appropriate questions and timely concerns.

Recognizing that teens want to be treated as equals, NIDA scientists were careful not to preach about the dangers of drug use. Rather, the site delivers science-based facts about how drugs affect the brain and body so that kids will be armed with better information to make healthy decisions.

Elements such as animated illustrations, quizzes, and games are used throughout the site to clarify concepts, test the visitor's knowledge, and make learning fun through interaction."

I, unfortunately, have family members that have gotten into drugs and they have destroyed their lives.I have used them as examples for my children on what not to do. Hopefully they see what drugs can do to your life and choose not to ever do them. I will also use this website to educate myself in order to educate my children.

I'm thinking colic is easy compared to teens and what they are faced with.

Do you know how when your kids were little (under 9) and they would ask questions like "where do babies come from"? or "is the tooth fairy real"?  you would squirm and think of something to say really quick that didn't make much sense? That was me many times. I am now learning how important it is to be very honest when asked  questions from my teens.The article Helping Your Teen Make Responsible Choices at Palo Alto Medical Foundation really has some good tips.......

"Being at a party where alcohol and other drugs are available ... being pressured to have sex.. being pressured to join a gang... These are serious situations that teens face. As a parent, you wish you could always be there to protect your teen from situations that could hurt him or her, but it doesn't always work out that way. As your child grows older, parenting is less about control and more about offering direction. By sharing your time, experience, values, and love, you can help your teen make healthy choices."

Let's face it, our teens are faced with so much and helping them get through the years is a job in itself. What I have found to work so well in my house is plain and simple honesty. I do not sugar coat anything, I let them know the realities of their actions. I tell my boys (12 & 14) that life is all about their choices and the choices that they make now can affect their whole life.

I know that they will make mistakes along the way, but I also hope that they stop and think before they choose to do something wrong. I hope that they know they can come to me or their father about any situation. If I can accomplish this, I have done a good job.

I am really going to start focusing my blogs towards teenagers. I am right in the middle of the teen years at my house and there is so much to learn about them. Now that I have been looking, I have discovered many other blogs geared towards teens and I can so relate! Most recently, I found an article at Web MD that really hit home called Teens Talk Text Into The Wee Hours. Listen to this......

Sept. 6, 2007 -- Tiptoe past a teen's room after bedtime, and you might see a cell phone's glow underneath the doorway.   

Many teens talk or text message on their mobile phones after bedtime at least occasionally -- and the more often they do it, the more tired they are.   

That news appears in the latest edition of the journal Sleep.   

Data came from more than 1,600 teens at 15 schools in Flanders, Belgium. They rated their tiredness and reported how often they send or receive calls or text messages on their mobile phones after bedtime.

I actually chuckled when I read this because I remember looking at his cell phone bill and seeing the times he was mostly using his phone. He was on starting around 11pm and sometimes on until 2 or 3am. Does he think he is really fooling me? I let it go for a while because the phone was new, but after a few weeks and a couple of arguments from him being so tired, I stopped it...or so I thought.

One night, I quietly opened his door only to find him hiding under the covers talking on his phone. Now I had to get tough with the new school year approaching. The phone is now mine after 9:00pm.

He has actually been pretty good about handing over his phone every night. He just gives me his cute smile of surrender knowing that his mom isn't so dumb.

Another orthodontist appointment has come and gone for my son.  At 11 he has spent more time in a dentist chair then I have in my entire 33 years of life.  Not for poor teeth health, but for lets say bad decisions on a bicycle and the layout his mouth decided to take.  I joked at his appointment that he would soon have a million dollar smile.

The reason I bring this up is because I was reading an article on teeth health and the importance of good hygiene.  Due to all of the work my son has had and will continue to have on his teeth, he has really struggled with how to take care of his teeth around all of the work.  I remind him daily how important it is for him to take good care of his teeth. 

Now I know if he is having difficulty then maybe there is another child struggling or even a parent that might be having difficulty in how to explain proper care and why it is so important.  The article, Caring for Your Child’s Teeth, is offered by Family Education.

As parents, we need to remind our children that dedication to taking care of their teeth will pay off in the long run.  They will have healthy teeth and a great smile!

As I was looking over some news articles today, I came across an article that took science in schools to a whole new level.  A student, Kyleray Katherman, from North Bend, Oregon did a test on both fountain water and toilet water at his school to see which was cleaner.  Why you might ask?  In an attempt to allow bottled water back into his school, which had been banned.

I was a little appalled by the results.  The toilet water was cleaner with fewer bacteria growing then the fountain water.  Eeww!  Out children our in schools approximately 180 days out of the calendar year and this is the water they are drinking.

Now the article I read, Oregon Student Finds School's Toilet Water Cleaner Than Fountain's, from Foxnews.com, does continue to explain that one contributing factor to cleaner toilet bowl water is that it is cleaned daily where the fountain spigots may not be.

Now, I don’t bring this article to you to gross you out, but mainly just an FYI.  As a parent it is my responsibility to make sure that my child is cared for, both at home and at school.  I plan to take this article to my children’s schools, not to request bottled water, but to ensure healthier water fountains are offered to my children.

Are your kids getting to the age where you need to start thinking about whether to "brace" them for the possibility of orthodontics?  Thirty years ago, many parents opted to pass on orthodontic treatments for their children. Financial limitations may have been the leading reason, or as in my husbands case, because he told his parents that he didn't want braces (who ever does?) so they never pushed it with him.  He was the baby of 5 children so they were probably thrilled. He was a 14 year old boy at the time and obviously not capable of making such a decision that would later impact his life in a big way. It just wasn't a necessity years ago.

But today there are so many choices when it comes to orthodontics. There are of course the traditional "railroad track" braces that most kids get at about age 12; there is the 2-phase orthodontic treatment that has gained quite a lot of attention in the past 5 years. The child usually receives the first set at around age 9  depending upon the number of baby teeth that still exist. They wear them for approximately a year, then get them off until enough adult teeth are in place to get them back on for the  last phase  at about age 11. By the time most kids are going into their full set of traditional braces for a 2 year period, the 2 steppers are getting out of theirs. This fact is undoubtedly a major factor in the popularity of 2 step orthodontics. Being the mother of a 9 year old and a 12 year old, I can tell you it is much easier on a 9 year olds self image, then it is on a 12-14 year olds. There is Invisalign, which uses a series of clear aligners that are custom-molded to fit. The virtually invisible aligners gradually reposition your teeth over an extended period of time. However not everyone is a candidates for this procedure. Then there is a newer orthodontic option called Fast Ortho. Which I will explain in detail later in the post.

Today, orthodontics seem less of a luxury and more of a necessity; they are almost a passage into adolescence. In a Country that is so appearance conscious, how could we not provide our children every opportunity to insure their self confidence and success?   

But what about those children from 30 years ago that didn't get the opportunity to correct their smiles? How does it impact an adult to get braces? I can tell you, as my husband (the 14 year old boy who didn't want braces) is living through the experience right now. His story began this past winter when he decided to check into getting his bottom teeth capped because they had ground down to the point of almost exposing the roots due to his misalignment of teeth. Much to his surprise, the dentist told him that in addition to his teeth being too crowded to get porcelain veneers or crowns, that he also had TMJ and would likely need full dentures at an early age. He told my husband to avoid this fate, he needed FULL ORTHODONTICS! NO WAY my husband thought. He is a business man and was humiliated at the thought of wearing "train tracks" for 3 years.  This is where the story gets interesting...The dentist after hearing "hubby's" reaction said he had heard of a relatively new procedure called Fast Ortho, which was a  combination of oral surgery with traditional braces application for an expedited result. You see dramatic results in 3 months and complete the process by the 6th to 8th month; that's it, straight teeth in just a few months. Now THAT he could deal with. The cost for the procedure in our case was about double the cost traditional braces.  I am about to share his journey that began last week in Dr. Chris Parks office, a young and cutting edge periodontist in Maryland Heights, MO. He is the only Periodontist in the St. Louis area performing this procedure. "Hubby" was his 6th case.

Ok, here's where I have to warn you, there are some graphic images that are not for the faint of heart. Some of the photos contain some blood and show exposed bone and tissue. This is an amazing procedure so if you have a strong stomach, please read on... 

Tech tips for tweens and teens, can you say that 5 times fast? Probably not, but you should definitely be aware of it. As the mother of four kids ranging in ages from 14 to 4, technology is a huge part of our household. Whether it be the internet, cell phones, or even the DVD player there is something going on everyday that requires some knowledge of technology in the minds of my kids.

Needless to say, I was so glad to find this post by my blogging friend, Michelle, that talks about her time with Anastasia Goodstein, author of a new book called Totally Wired. Michelle said that Anastasia has a totally healthy outlook on teens and tweens and their use of technology and she focuses on tips for parents that are definitely a must read.......

I love what Anastasia says about the Internet being a virtual public space and it needs to be treated as such. The same stranger danger rule applies on the Internet as it does at someplace like the shopping mall...you don't talk to someone you don't know!

So yesterday I overheard Flip, my 13 year old, talking to his friend on the phone. Flip said, "Really, man, we need to tell my mom. She's, like, REALLY good at figuring out if someone is lying and you know she's cool, you met her."

This is the second time recently that 13 year olds have told me I'm cool. Since I failed miserably at being cool when I was 13, I take this as a great compliment. He's not shutting me out of his life, he's telling me things and he is coming to me for advice.

I promised Flip I wouldn't tell anyone the situation, so I don't get to share the juicy gossip here. Rest assured, it's just petty girl problems, nothing we've not all dealt with before. I listened to the story after promising him I wouldn't tell anyone and told him the girl was lying, and how I knew she was lying. So he went back to his friend and then proceeded to lay the case out like a district attorney before the grand jury. His friend was grateful, and told Flip he'd saved the day.

Flip gets all the glory in this case, and it's fine with me. I just hope he continues to come to me, especially for the hard problems, like drugs, sex, drinking, and that sort of stuff. I feel like this is a good test of whether he'll come talk to me when the time comes.

Ah, Girl Scout camp. What fun. We camped with our sister troop, which is a troop of 11-14 year olds, and I ended up hanging out a lot with the 11-14 year olds. They all know Flip, my 13 year old, and I found out a whole lot about where he's at in the social pecking order at school. Seems all the girls LOVE him. Scary stuff, man.

It's interesting to hear the hopes and dreams of girls that are that young. They are, of course, completely boy crazy, so I got to hear all about how the boys at school are soooo cute, but sooooo dumb. I got a look into their lives, being deemed cool enough to share info with. It's fun to be cool to 13 year olds- after all, they're at their most judgmental stage of their life. I remember junior high, it was rough.

I had fun ogling the cute guys on the boats on the lake with them (thank goodness, they never came close to us) and singing and dancing. I also tried to talk some seriousness with them. When they talked about how much they hated their home lives, I told them to store all that anger up and use it as stepping stones to get to where they really want to be- college and on to a good life. I talked to them about how getting pregnant with Flip when I was a teenager made my life much harder than it had to be. I told them if I had it to do all over again, I'd wait to get pregnant until I was married and driving the kind of car I really want to drive (BMW 2 seater convertible in case anybody wants to buy me one), because once you have kids, you're stuck with cars that can accommodate carseats.

I don't know if any of my motivational speaking worked. They seemed to have heard me. I think teenagers need someone in their lives that they deem "cool" enough to actually listen to. They're going to do what they want to do anyway, whether or not they think you're cool, but perhaps I planted some seeds in their heads that will grow and take root.

I love irony. When I graduated from high school, I did have to take a test in order to graduate. I didn't have to pass said test (although I did), I just had to take the test. It was strange.

It seems Texas has a similar high school exit test, although you do have to pass the test. So, a whole bunch of students didn't pass the test, so they're not going to get to walk with their graduating class.

Many turned out to protest this decision with signs proclaiming "LET ARE (sic) STUDENTS WALK".

Yes, the irony is delicious.

[photo credit: wfaa-tv]

I went to my son's band concert tonight and was appalled at people's behavior. Notice I said people's, not the behavior of the kids. People violated the most basic of good concert-going etiquette, such as leaving their cell phone ringers on, but even worse, they talked so loudly throughout the perfomance that the band was actually hard to hear.

And this wasn't just a few people near me being rude, either, it was a majority of the audience. I was completely shocked. I turned to my mother and mouthed, "I am so appalled". She mouthed back, "Yeah, these people are so loud". Or something like that. I'm terrible at lip-reading.

Worse, there was a dude in front of me who played a GameBoy during the entire performance. Look, people, nobody is forcing you to come to these things. If you can't stop playing Paper Mario long enough to watch your kid play a few songs, stay home, please.

I suspect this is the area I live in more than a complete lack of manners nationwide. I don't mean Tennessee, I mean the town I live in. Developers have been allowed to run rampant in the town and consequently, we live in an area that is very poorly zoned, with high density housing right next to some fairly nice housing. It pulls down everybody's property values, and many people have moved here from the dangerous parts of Nashville. I just wish somebody had taught these people some basic common courtesy before they moved here.

Or maybe I just need to move.

I am already having nightmares for what will be the highlight on my oldest son's life. In seven months my son will be fifteen and that means old enough to get his driver's permit. I have to tell you that I would like to stop the clock now because I am already having panic attacks over this. I am sure that with each child it gets easier and you worry less but because this is a first for me as a mom it's not easy. I read a blog today at ParentDish called Bumper Stickers To Improve Teen Driving that I thought was excellent.......

"Slap a Report My Teen bumper sticker sticker on their car, of course. Report My Teen is the brainchild of Texas mothers Kristi Broekhove and Erin Henochowicz. When their teenage sons began driving, they both worried about their inexperience and impulsiveness. In order to keep tabs on them, they came up with the bumper sticker idea.

The sticker is much like those you would see on commercial vehicles asking other drivers to report any unsafe driving. It is printed with a toll-free telephone number and a unique PIN number to identify the bad driver. Callers leave a voice message detailing the bad driving behavior they witnessed and the message is instantly forwarded to the parent's email."

I really think that this may be a good idea. I know as a mom that if my teen was driving reckless, I would want to know. At first I thought that maybe I was being too overprotective but when I considered how many teen accidents are caused by teens driving crazy, I changed my mind. I would appreciate a call that may prevent my teen from being in an accident.